Damned If You Don't

You've reached the first address on your list. It's for a child who wanted a skateboard. Unfortunately, the letter was written 30 years ago, and that child is now an adult... and a lawyer who is unimpressed with your attempt to give her the skateboard. She is going to sue you for the out of date "contract" that she couldn't have legally signed as a child. Now get off her property!

Satan tells Abbadon to handle this next letter. Suzie wanted a race car! You'll just swap her existing sensible car for the life-sized cherry-red Hot Wheels racing car. Suzie's mother is not impressed. Suzie on the other hand is delighted, and speeds away, leaving you with a fulfilled contract!

The boss is driving you hard when you reach the next house, ready to hand over a diamond tiara to the person who wished for it... 80 years ago. Winifred isn't interested in it anymore. It wouldn't fit in at bingo. Satan demands to know what she wants so you can fulfil the contract, and she says that she could use some company and help with chores. You'd better do whatever she asks!

Household chores are more difficult than you realised and Satan is getting knotted up in the knitting. As you work, you hear a news report about a lawsuit against Santa Claus himself for breach of contract. The lawyer has made good on her threats, and issues an official summons. The boss can't refuse a summons, so it magics Satan, currently doing Santa's duties, straight to the court house. You'd better catch up!

You reach court in time to hear the lawyer lay out the charges. Has Mr Claus gained airspace permissions for his flights? The boss denies being Santa, but that just makes things worse. The lawyer calls Snowball the elf to the stand. You need to get the real Santa quickly!

You drag Santa to the courtroom where he claims to be Satan's lawyer. Snowball testifies about abuses of employment law in Santa's workshop. Is Santa really a role model? Then Santa takes the floor, bringing his own witnesses. Winifred talks about how kind you all were helping around the house, and Suzie is delighted with her gift. The contract is more about delivering kindness and joy than physical items, and that contract has been fulfilled. The jury finds you not guilty and you're free to go! Santa is happy to leave the wager behind, as long as Satan comes to visit more often.